Britney added that she now recognizes that she’s really angry with Jamie — who she said she hopes burns in hell along with her mother, Lynne Spears — and she spoke directly to her sons about how much she continues to care about them.
“I’m so blessed to even call you mine, and I just want you to know I apologize,” she said. “My ignorance in saying no — saying so to you guys, because that was meant for my father.”
She also opened up about how painful the conflict with her sons has been, at one point mentioning that they’d blocked her in addition to stopping visits and missing her wedding.
“Since they’ve been gone, I’ve honestly felt like a huge part of me has died,” Britney said. “Like literally, I have no purpose anymore. They were my joy, they were my everything. I looked forward to seeing them. That was what I lived for.”
But, she added, she’s not going to stop speaking publicly after being denied a voice for so long. She revealed that she has been meeting weekly with a therapist and is also doing equine therapy to heal from the isolation she experienced during the conservatorship — particularly the time she was forced to spend in a rehab facility. Opening up has always been a struggle for her, she added, describing herself as an introvert despite her life as a performer.
“In my head, it’s really crucial to me to feel like I can share,” Spears said. “If it’s the dumbest thing in the world that I do is share on my Instagram my thoughts, if it’s dumb, so be it, because I honestly feel like it helps me.”